What do you do?

I am a huge fan of routine. I like to know what I am going to be doing on each given day. Don’t mess with that. Don’t change my schedule. It makes me cranky and hard to live with. It is comforting to have a plan that I can rely on. However, life is strange. It’s very fragile and it will change on you when you are least expecting it. We have to be ready and willing to pick up and go when it’s necessary. Continue reading “What do you do?”


Get Help

In the line of work that my wife and I do (we are house parents at a group home facility), we see many children that are falling through the cracks in life. In eight years as house parents, we have housed over seventy kids for reasons that vary from neglect to truancy to abuse. Not every parent that has brought their kids to us have been neglectful. Many of them are wonderful parents who have just lost control of their homes and are looking for help. Continue reading “Get Help”

Felt Safety

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. In previous writings, I have detailed my fear of swimming in water where I was not able to see my feet. What is swimming below me? Is it going to bite me? Am I only moments away from being in pain? From what I have read, this is actually a fairly common fear. Continue reading “Felt Safety”

How To Raise Kids Without Ruining Them

A few months ago, I began writing a book that delves into the mistakes that we often make in parenting that can become huge if they are not handled correctly. I think you probably know what I’m talking about. This is not a book about child abuse and sexual misconduct. It is more along the lines of boundary issues and building trust.  Continue reading “How To Raise Kids Without Ruining Them”

A somewhat unexpected surprise

Last Saturday, Elisa and I celebrated anniversary number eleven by (as we usually end up doing on our anniversary) working. That’s just how it has always worked out. Not a big deal. Tons of people are scheduled to work on their anniversary. We did not even consider taking the day off. However, one of the boys treated it as if it were one of life’s great tragedies that we were working.  Continue reading “A somewhat unexpected surprise”

There is more to it than just moving

Back in April of this past year, my family and I loaded up in our 18-year-old Ford Expedition and a U-Haul and began a 650-mile journey across the country from Illinois to Virginia to begin a new chapter in our lives. We worked as house parents at Baptist Children’s Home in Illinois and had been offered a similar position at Patrick Henry Family Services in Virginia. We had housing provided at both locations. Seems like an easy move right? WRONG! Continue reading “There is more to it than just moving”

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

I have been house parenting in group homes for a little over seven years now and have had something like 70 or so kids in my house during that time. Most of that time was spent at BCH in Illinois. However, this past April, we moved out to Virginia to continue this work with Patrick Henry Family Service. One thing that seems to be consistent with all of these boys is their dislike of authority. None of them want to recognize the authority over them. They have trouble with the police. They struggle with school administration. Nearly all of them struggle to recognize the authority of their parents. Continue reading “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”

My Boss Got Mad

My boss (one of them) has her own blog and often puts up her opinions and observations about life in general but more specifically, things that trouble her. Yesterday was one of those days. She posted up a blog about the church’s negligence in regards to caring for children who are falling through the cracks. Continue reading “My Boss Got Mad”

Help my friends adopt a child

I think one of the greatest things that a person can do in their lives is to provide for the care and wellbeing of a child. The majority of the population do that through their own children and that in itself, if done correctly, is an amazing blessing. However, there is a growing need for people to step in an provide for children that are not their own.

Continue reading “Help my friends adopt a child”

An empty house is a quiet house

Okay. I will preface this post with a description of my job for those of you who do not know much about what I do.

For the past 6+ years, my wife Elisa and I have worked in a group home setting taking care of teenage boys. It is similar to foster care except we work for an agency that directs us in the care that we provide. We started out doing this work for Baptist Children’s Home and Family Services in Carmi, IL. However, in April, we moved to Virginia to work for Patrick Henry Family ServicesContinue reading “An empty house is a quiet house”